Post by ince on Jan 10, 2009 18:39:23 GMT -5
So I'm standing here, cigarettes in hand, armed and ready to poise. I nail the first one, make my next move and cut the mans throat. That's right, I'm playing Splinter Cell: Double Agent. Classic game, but it seems to fit these days. I let out a puff of smoke and continue on my meaningless mission. I'm only wasting the moments until I step up and finally meet my opponents. I've been training, but honestly, my mind has me on continuous guard. At least while I'm playing this game I can be slightly distracted from the existence that's closing in on me. Revenge is all that fills my thoughts. I'm so lost without the fun, my thirst for alcohol is overrun by my thirst for blood. All these frustrations! FUCK! The darkness is corrupting my mind! I can actually think full sentences, and there's nothing to numb this! I toss the controller to the floor, place my head in my hands and simply let this pour through me.
Eryk: I'm so sick of this. The darkness surrounding. Booze, drugs, cigarettes, it all fuels me. I'm not Jake Benson. I'm not CJ Tyler. I'm not any of the top talents. I'm Eryk Ince. Lost, confused, and yet at the same time focused and driven. I know what I deserve, what belongs to me. It's not in my possession, right now it sits on the waste of someone who I've battled many times before. A man who's been handed defeat at my hands and I've been handed defeat at his. I won't waste another breath on him. He hasn't wasted a breath on any of us. For whatever reason it is, I can only assume he's given up. Afraid to battle us.
I pull my head from the confines of my palms and look towards the glow of the TV. Game's over. Guess the distraction didn't prove to be much of one.
Eryk: What keeps flashing through my head is the last time I was up against Tweeks. Why am I so lost in this? I've never been overconfident. But to know what my fate is, to know where I need to be, what I need to do. To know that my blood will flow, that the war is over. I know what Tweeks is capable of, I know what he can do to those he feels threatened by. He's barely mentioned me. Why? His focus isn't on me. Whether that's cause he fears the unknown or just cause he feels that I'll be too drunk to let it truly flow, I don't know. What I do know is that he's not strong enough to hold himself up forever. I may be lost, but Tweeks is long gone. Certainly he's sitting here now, but it won't be long before he finds something OR someone else to take him away. Then where will it all be again? He's the last on the road to that gold, to the shine that draws me from this pit. I won't let you take it from me Tweeks. I'll fight for it, I'll be right there. And what I have to wonder is where will your mind be when it's not CJ Tyler's actions that come into effect in the main event....when it's mine that cost you what you've worked so little for! Will it be shock and awe?! Will it be wonder?! Will it be shame?! OR WILL IT BE NON EXISTANT?! What does this title mean to you? Nothing. What does any title mean to you?! NOTHING! And the men who work in that ring, the men that push the limits in that ring, the men who are not ALL WORDS, it means the world to us! I do know what you're capable of, Tweeks. Just look at CJ Tyler and that's simply the tip of the iceberg! The fights, the rivalries, and the partnerships. Do you ever come out on top? NO! I'm said to have done nothing in my tenure here, but I've been here for quite a bit of CWF History. I took on Punisher, I was the master of SIC, I ran the show of Xtreme and I'm stilll standing! If that's nothing, then what have you done?! You've fucked up CJ Tyler and simply fucked Kenzie. That's all anyone can remember. You don't lead much more of a legacy then I do! So what makes you so special?! What makes Tweeks greater than Eryk Ince?! Nothing. What makes Eryk Ince greater then Tweeks? EVERYTHING! I have a point to prove, I have a drive to maintain!
I can feel the anger surging through me. The intensity in my veins.
Eryk: Let's forget Tweeks! Why don't we take a look at good ol' CJ tyler. So the explanation about why I still have stitches in my skull, why I still feel a throb in my head, why I can't seem to take myself off guard is because you were going to teach me a lesson?! You want to reeducate me in what this business is about?! I am no follower! I played that part, I played the lackey! It gets you nowhere, it ruins your career and makes it so you can't even look in the mirror without being disgusted. When i look in the mirror, i may not like what I see, but I do know who that person is! I know what he's capable of, and what he'll do to you when the match begins. I'm not worthy of being around that championship?! ME! Excuse me, but aren't you stealing a line from Jake Benson? Maybe you should get your ego in check! I don't let people walk all over me, sure, I may be a drunk, but that doesn't mean i don't have my dignity. You want me to join you?! You want me to sit pretty and wait for you to have your fun as World Champion before you'll even let me get a shot?! NOT HAPPENING BUCKO! I've worked just as hard as you have, and if you want to play victim, then that's your business! You want vengeance on Tweeks, then get him before this all starts, because you aren't going to make it past me! When I'm through with you, CJ Tyler will never breathe again! I'm not ending that match until one of us is dead!
I grab my still burning cigarette and take the hit of nicotine.
Eryk: You are right about something CJ. I have learned a valuable lesson, my eyes have been opened. See, I'm what is right for that title. I deserve to be where I am, I truly do. I've worked for it. We've both earned our spots when everyone said we'd never get here. And we do have to beat the other two before they get past us. But there's a big difference between us. I know my fate, and it's to seal yours!
I put my head back down, letting the time run.
Eryk: I'm so sick of this. The darkness surrounding. Booze, drugs, cigarettes, it all fuels me. I'm not Jake Benson. I'm not CJ Tyler. I'm not any of the top talents. I'm Eryk Ince. Lost, confused, and yet at the same time focused and driven. I know what I deserve, what belongs to me. It's not in my possession, right now it sits on the waste of someone who I've battled many times before. A man who's been handed defeat at my hands and I've been handed defeat at his. I won't waste another breath on him. He hasn't wasted a breath on any of us. For whatever reason it is, I can only assume he's given up. Afraid to battle us.
I pull my head from the confines of my palms and look towards the glow of the TV. Game's over. Guess the distraction didn't prove to be much of one.
Eryk: What keeps flashing through my head is the last time I was up against Tweeks. Why am I so lost in this? I've never been overconfident. But to know what my fate is, to know where I need to be, what I need to do. To know that my blood will flow, that the war is over. I know what Tweeks is capable of, I know what he can do to those he feels threatened by. He's barely mentioned me. Why? His focus isn't on me. Whether that's cause he fears the unknown or just cause he feels that I'll be too drunk to let it truly flow, I don't know. What I do know is that he's not strong enough to hold himself up forever. I may be lost, but Tweeks is long gone. Certainly he's sitting here now, but it won't be long before he finds something OR someone else to take him away. Then where will it all be again? He's the last on the road to that gold, to the shine that draws me from this pit. I won't let you take it from me Tweeks. I'll fight for it, I'll be right there. And what I have to wonder is where will your mind be when it's not CJ Tyler's actions that come into effect in the main event....when it's mine that cost you what you've worked so little for! Will it be shock and awe?! Will it be wonder?! Will it be shame?! OR WILL IT BE NON EXISTANT?! What does this title mean to you? Nothing. What does any title mean to you?! NOTHING! And the men who work in that ring, the men that push the limits in that ring, the men who are not ALL WORDS, it means the world to us! I do know what you're capable of, Tweeks. Just look at CJ Tyler and that's simply the tip of the iceberg! The fights, the rivalries, and the partnerships. Do you ever come out on top? NO! I'm said to have done nothing in my tenure here, but I've been here for quite a bit of CWF History. I took on Punisher, I was the master of SIC, I ran the show of Xtreme and I'm stilll standing! If that's nothing, then what have you done?! You've fucked up CJ Tyler and simply fucked Kenzie. That's all anyone can remember. You don't lead much more of a legacy then I do! So what makes you so special?! What makes Tweeks greater than Eryk Ince?! Nothing. What makes Eryk Ince greater then Tweeks? EVERYTHING! I have a point to prove, I have a drive to maintain!
I can feel the anger surging through me. The intensity in my veins.
Eryk: Let's forget Tweeks! Why don't we take a look at good ol' CJ tyler. So the explanation about why I still have stitches in my skull, why I still feel a throb in my head, why I can't seem to take myself off guard is because you were going to teach me a lesson?! You want to reeducate me in what this business is about?! I am no follower! I played that part, I played the lackey! It gets you nowhere, it ruins your career and makes it so you can't even look in the mirror without being disgusted. When i look in the mirror, i may not like what I see, but I do know who that person is! I know what he's capable of, and what he'll do to you when the match begins. I'm not worthy of being around that championship?! ME! Excuse me, but aren't you stealing a line from Jake Benson? Maybe you should get your ego in check! I don't let people walk all over me, sure, I may be a drunk, but that doesn't mean i don't have my dignity. You want me to join you?! You want me to sit pretty and wait for you to have your fun as World Champion before you'll even let me get a shot?! NOT HAPPENING BUCKO! I've worked just as hard as you have, and if you want to play victim, then that's your business! You want vengeance on Tweeks, then get him before this all starts, because you aren't going to make it past me! When I'm through with you, CJ Tyler will never breathe again! I'm not ending that match until one of us is dead!
I grab my still burning cigarette and take the hit of nicotine.
Eryk: You are right about something CJ. I have learned a valuable lesson, my eyes have been opened. See, I'm what is right for that title. I deserve to be where I am, I truly do. I've worked for it. We've both earned our spots when everyone said we'd never get here. And we do have to beat the other two before they get past us. But there's a big difference between us. I know my fate, and it's to seal yours!
I put my head back down, letting the time run.