Post by jroc on Jan 12, 2009 4:00:02 GMT -5
The scene opens to Ashton Kutcher presenting a special edition of Punk'd. He laughs as he puts an evil smile on his face.
Ashton: We're back. I'm back, that's right a special edition of Punk'd, and we got some grade a punkage in store for ya. first we're gonna start off with J-Roc, the hip-hop, body slammin' bad boy from the CWF. Roc is in town to do Leno to promote the CWF's big pay per view event, and we're gonna catch him stoppin' for a bite to eat. Roc's friend Carter helped us set him up, as he eats lunch at Milo's, the chic outdoor spot that has been the location of some classic Punks. As J-Roc sits down to order his meal, he's gonna be waited on by a female that just happens to be a big fan of his. she's gonna flirt a little and then lure him into the kitchen where, hopefully he's gonna sign her breast, and then.....BAM....sexual harrasment and some chaos should ensue. Rebecca is gonna play our waitress. Shane's gonna be the manager and Paul will be our cop............J-Roc this is my house!! watcha gonna do when Punkamania runs wild on you brother???
The next shot is of J and some friends entering the restaurant and being led to the outdoor tables. He takes his seat as he makes small talk with his friends. The waitress then shows up on cue. She takes their orders and acts pretty normal. Only instead of leaving she just lingers a few feet from the table just staring at J. J and his friends notice and J speaks up.
J-Roc: everything okay? you allright girl?
Waitress: yeah, i'm just a really big fan of yours.
J-Roc: that's cool, i'm glad to hear it.
Waitress: i'm a huge fan....super huge
J-Roc (smiles): that's good, i appreciate that.
As she leaves to get their orders, J talks among hid friends.
Friend: she said she a super huge fan, ha ha.
J-Roc: she don't look bad neither huh?
Friend 2: hell naw, she fine as shit.
J-Roc: yeah guys, i think ima have to spit some game at this broad.
They all laugh as the girl comes back with their drinks. The girl has brought a fellow employee back with her, armed with a digital camera.
Waitress: can i take a picture with you?
J-Roc: sure no problem, no doubt
As J starts to get up, the girl sits in his lap instead. The other employee takes the picture.
J-Roc: wow, easy. you gon' get ya boss mad, or somethin'
Waitress: i'm sorry i didn't think you'd mind
J-Roc: no, i'm cool. i just don't wanna get you in trouble or somethin'
Waitress: no it's okay. thanks for the picture.
The girl leaves again as J and his friends continue to laugh and talk about it. There is a shot of Ashton as he tells the actress to call J into the kitchen. On cue the girl comes back out. She talks to J again.
Waitress: i'm sorry to bother you again can i get your autograph, i'm really sorry.
J-Roc: nah, of course you can get a autograph. i just hope ya boss is cool with all this. you got a pen?
Waitress: i do in the back. can you come with me back here? please, i'm sorry.
J-Roc: nah, i can come back there wit you. it's cool.
J steps up and as he goes to leave, he talks to his friends, thinking the girl can not hear him.
J-Roc: ya'll know what that means boys, i'll be back in twenty.
They all laugh as J walks back to the kitchen area. As they enter the back J looks around.
J-Roc: back in the kitchen, huh?
Witress: i want your autograph in a special place.
J smiles as she unbuttons her blouse. Ashton is shown, telling her to tear it instead. She rips her blouse a little, exposing the majority of her left breast.
Witress: right here, you can just put J-Roc, or you can put your phone number too.
J-Roc: yeah that's nice right there. allright then.
J signs the girls breast.
Waitress: thank you so much. (she hugs him) i'll have your food out in a little bit.
J-Roc: no problem, aiight then.
J walks back to the table and tells the story to his friends. The group has a big laugh and continue talking about it until the manager comes walking out. he looks around the table. He stops on J. He has a very serious look on his face.
Manager: You J-Roc? ( he asks hatefully)
J-Roc: that's right homeboy, the one and only.
Manager: well, homeboy, i got a waitress back there in my kitchen crying her eyes out, saying that you just tried to force yourself on her.
J looks completely shocked as he removes his shades.
J-Roc: say what? (he looks around at his friends)
Manager: did you right your name on her breast?
J-Roc: yeah i did, cause she wanted me to do that. it was for fun.
Manager: oh is your idea of fun ripping girls' blouses and writing your name on their chests? (Ashton is shown cracking up)
J-Roc: yo, first of all man, you takin' a real foul tone, and that ain't necessary. i did do that, but it was because she asked me to.
Manager: she asked you to rip her blouse open while she was at work? I know Candy, that doesn't sound like Candy.
J-Roc: i ain't rip her blouse she did that. listen bruh, she wanted a autograph, and she wanted it on her breast, so that's what i did.
Manager: I find that kind of hard to believe really. i mean she's crying for a reason. that doesn't sound like somebody that got what she wanted.
J-Roc: look man, you talkin' with a tone i don't like. i'm the wrong guy to do that with ya heard? ain't no need for that.
Manager: you sound angry, you gonna put your hands on me now?
J-Roc: Dude! ain't nobody put hands on nobody, where is the girl? let me talk to her.
Manager: i don't think she wants to talk to you right now, but the police are on their way, you can talk to them.
J-Roc: what? dude,...no we leavin' man, we'll eat somewhere else.
Manager: well the police are on their way, you just gonna leave?
J-Roc: the police can find me, bruh. i think i know what's goin' on here and i don't like it.
Ashton calls for the cop to show up, and he does before J and group can make their get away.
Cop: whao whoa whoa! where you guys goin? are you J-Roc?
J-Roc: yeah, look i don't know what's goin on man, but i ain't did nothin' wrong. nothin'
Cop: that's what we're gonna figure out, just hold on a second....so tell me what happened. what's goin' on? talk to me.
J-Roc: man, i don't know. this waitress got me to sign her breast or whatever, and then this dude comes out talkin about i tried to force myself on her. this is crazy.
Cop: so you did touch her breast?
J-Roc: yeah, but that's what she wanted me to do. she asked for me to do that.
Manager: I bet all the girls ask you for it, huh? they all want it.
J-Roc: man get him outta here! i can't talk with this guy out here. he must be in on this or somethin'
Cop: so she asked you to sign her breast and you did, and you haven't talked to her since?
J-Roc: no i haven't seen her. i wanna talk to her though.
Cop: i'm gonna bring her over. send the waitress over here.
The girl comes walking up, tears still in her eyes.
Cop: this the guy?
Waitress (nods): yeah he's the one that touched me.
J-Roc: why you doin' this girl? what's up?
Cop: hold on second. everybody listen to me. maam, do you wanna press charges against this guy?
Waitress: yes, what he did was wrong.
J-Roc: what? yo you asked me to do that. just tell him the truth. tell him the truth.
Cop: get her outta here. get her outta here. listen J-Roc, i need you to make a full statement for me right now. make sure you're very clear in what you say. and honest.
J-Roc: i really think i need to talk to my lawyer before i say anything. so what is it that i'm bein' charged with?
Cop: well you tore her shirt and wrote your name on her chest..
J-Roc: no, i didn't tear her shirt, she did that. that's what i'm tellin you. she led me back to the kitchen. everybody woulda seen it if i dragged her back there or whatever.
Cop: you coulda followed her back there. i gotta couple of employees who say they heard screams, and that they heard you yelling at her.
J-Roc: what? nah man......it's...they must all be in on this. i really need to call my lawyer yo. this is crazy. ( J puts his hands on his head, shaking his head not knowing what to think) they must have cameras in here or somethin', i swear to God i'm tellin tha truth.
Cop: well, i'm gonna go ahead and read you your rights....
J-Roc: what? well, what am i bein' charged with. i need to call my lawyer first anyway.
Just at this time Ashton comes running out, he grabs J by the shoulders as everyone begins to laugh. J looks at Ashton, relieved and then kinda pissed.
J-Roc: man, Ashton, fuck you homie. yo that shit ain't funny. that's not funny.
Ashton laughs as he puts his arm around Roc.
Ashton: come on, this is my way of welcoming you to LA.
J pretends to beat Ashton up as the camera circles them. The next shot is of J standing in front of the camera.
J-Roc: Yo, this ya boy J-Roc, and i just got Punk'd.......by Ashton's bitch ass.
Ashton: We're back. I'm back, that's right a special edition of Punk'd, and we got some grade a punkage in store for ya. first we're gonna start off with J-Roc, the hip-hop, body slammin' bad boy from the CWF. Roc is in town to do Leno to promote the CWF's big pay per view event, and we're gonna catch him stoppin' for a bite to eat. Roc's friend Carter helped us set him up, as he eats lunch at Milo's, the chic outdoor spot that has been the location of some classic Punks. As J-Roc sits down to order his meal, he's gonna be waited on by a female that just happens to be a big fan of his. she's gonna flirt a little and then lure him into the kitchen where, hopefully he's gonna sign her breast, and then.....BAM....sexual harrasment and some chaos should ensue. Rebecca is gonna play our waitress. Shane's gonna be the manager and Paul will be our cop............J-Roc this is my house!! watcha gonna do when Punkamania runs wild on you brother???
The next shot is of J and some friends entering the restaurant and being led to the outdoor tables. He takes his seat as he makes small talk with his friends. The waitress then shows up on cue. She takes their orders and acts pretty normal. Only instead of leaving she just lingers a few feet from the table just staring at J. J and his friends notice and J speaks up.
J-Roc: everything okay? you allright girl?
Waitress: yeah, i'm just a really big fan of yours.
J-Roc: that's cool, i'm glad to hear it.
Waitress: i'm a huge fan....super huge
J-Roc (smiles): that's good, i appreciate that.
As she leaves to get their orders, J talks among hid friends.
Friend: she said she a super huge fan, ha ha.
J-Roc: she don't look bad neither huh?
Friend 2: hell naw, she fine as shit.
J-Roc: yeah guys, i think ima have to spit some game at this broad.
They all laugh as the girl comes back with their drinks. The girl has brought a fellow employee back with her, armed with a digital camera.
Waitress: can i take a picture with you?
J-Roc: sure no problem, no doubt
As J starts to get up, the girl sits in his lap instead. The other employee takes the picture.
J-Roc: wow, easy. you gon' get ya boss mad, or somethin'
Waitress: i'm sorry i didn't think you'd mind
J-Roc: no, i'm cool. i just don't wanna get you in trouble or somethin'
Waitress: no it's okay. thanks for the picture.
The girl leaves again as J and his friends continue to laugh and talk about it. There is a shot of Ashton as he tells the actress to call J into the kitchen. On cue the girl comes back out. She talks to J again.
Waitress: i'm sorry to bother you again can i get your autograph, i'm really sorry.
J-Roc: nah, of course you can get a autograph. i just hope ya boss is cool with all this. you got a pen?
Waitress: i do in the back. can you come with me back here? please, i'm sorry.
J-Roc: nah, i can come back there wit you. it's cool.
J steps up and as he goes to leave, he talks to his friends, thinking the girl can not hear him.
J-Roc: ya'll know what that means boys, i'll be back in twenty.
They all laugh as J walks back to the kitchen area. As they enter the back J looks around.
J-Roc: back in the kitchen, huh?
Witress: i want your autograph in a special place.
J smiles as she unbuttons her blouse. Ashton is shown, telling her to tear it instead. She rips her blouse a little, exposing the majority of her left breast.
Witress: right here, you can just put J-Roc, or you can put your phone number too.
J-Roc: yeah that's nice right there. allright then.
J signs the girls breast.
Waitress: thank you so much. (she hugs him) i'll have your food out in a little bit.
J-Roc: no problem, aiight then.
J walks back to the table and tells the story to his friends. The group has a big laugh and continue talking about it until the manager comes walking out. he looks around the table. He stops on J. He has a very serious look on his face.
Manager: You J-Roc? ( he asks hatefully)
J-Roc: that's right homeboy, the one and only.
Manager: well, homeboy, i got a waitress back there in my kitchen crying her eyes out, saying that you just tried to force yourself on her.
J looks completely shocked as he removes his shades.
J-Roc: say what? (he looks around at his friends)
Manager: did you right your name on her breast?
J-Roc: yeah i did, cause she wanted me to do that. it was for fun.
Manager: oh is your idea of fun ripping girls' blouses and writing your name on their chests? (Ashton is shown cracking up)
J-Roc: yo, first of all man, you takin' a real foul tone, and that ain't necessary. i did do that, but it was because she asked me to.
Manager: she asked you to rip her blouse open while she was at work? I know Candy, that doesn't sound like Candy.
J-Roc: i ain't rip her blouse she did that. listen bruh, she wanted a autograph, and she wanted it on her breast, so that's what i did.
Manager: I find that kind of hard to believe really. i mean she's crying for a reason. that doesn't sound like somebody that got what she wanted.
J-Roc: look man, you talkin' with a tone i don't like. i'm the wrong guy to do that with ya heard? ain't no need for that.
Manager: you sound angry, you gonna put your hands on me now?
J-Roc: Dude! ain't nobody put hands on nobody, where is the girl? let me talk to her.
Manager: i don't think she wants to talk to you right now, but the police are on their way, you can talk to them.
J-Roc: what? dude,...no we leavin' man, we'll eat somewhere else.
Manager: well the police are on their way, you just gonna leave?
J-Roc: the police can find me, bruh. i think i know what's goin' on here and i don't like it.
Ashton calls for the cop to show up, and he does before J and group can make their get away.
Cop: whao whoa whoa! where you guys goin? are you J-Roc?
J-Roc: yeah, look i don't know what's goin on man, but i ain't did nothin' wrong. nothin'
Cop: that's what we're gonna figure out, just hold on a second....so tell me what happened. what's goin' on? talk to me.
J-Roc: man, i don't know. this waitress got me to sign her breast or whatever, and then this dude comes out talkin about i tried to force myself on her. this is crazy.
Cop: so you did touch her breast?
J-Roc: yeah, but that's what she wanted me to do. she asked for me to do that.
Manager: I bet all the girls ask you for it, huh? they all want it.
J-Roc: man get him outta here! i can't talk with this guy out here. he must be in on this or somethin'
Cop: so she asked you to sign her breast and you did, and you haven't talked to her since?
J-Roc: no i haven't seen her. i wanna talk to her though.
Cop: i'm gonna bring her over. send the waitress over here.
The girl comes walking up, tears still in her eyes.
Cop: this the guy?
Waitress (nods): yeah he's the one that touched me.
J-Roc: why you doin' this girl? what's up?
Cop: hold on second. everybody listen to me. maam, do you wanna press charges against this guy?
Waitress: yes, what he did was wrong.
J-Roc: what? yo you asked me to do that. just tell him the truth. tell him the truth.
Cop: get her outta here. get her outta here. listen J-Roc, i need you to make a full statement for me right now. make sure you're very clear in what you say. and honest.
J-Roc: i really think i need to talk to my lawyer before i say anything. so what is it that i'm bein' charged with?
Cop: well you tore her shirt and wrote your name on her chest..
J-Roc: no, i didn't tear her shirt, she did that. that's what i'm tellin you. she led me back to the kitchen. everybody woulda seen it if i dragged her back there or whatever.
Cop: you coulda followed her back there. i gotta couple of employees who say they heard screams, and that they heard you yelling at her.
J-Roc: what? nah man......it's...they must all be in on this. i really need to call my lawyer yo. this is crazy. ( J puts his hands on his head, shaking his head not knowing what to think) they must have cameras in here or somethin', i swear to God i'm tellin tha truth.
Cop: well, i'm gonna go ahead and read you your rights....
J-Roc: what? well, what am i bein' charged with. i need to call my lawyer first anyway.
Just at this time Ashton comes running out, he grabs J by the shoulders as everyone begins to laugh. J looks at Ashton, relieved and then kinda pissed.
J-Roc: man, Ashton, fuck you homie. yo that shit ain't funny. that's not funny.
Ashton laughs as he puts his arm around Roc.
Ashton: come on, this is my way of welcoming you to LA.
J pretends to beat Ashton up as the camera circles them. The next shot is of J standing in front of the camera.
J-Roc: Yo, this ya boy J-Roc, and i just got Punk'd.......by Ashton's bitch ass.