Post by larissamurderface on Feb 1, 2009 4:16:59 GMT -5
Well, upon my first promo here in IWE; first for a match, that is; I was giddy. I had no idea who my opponent was, so that made me wonder; 'Who the hell is Dominic Sterling?'. Well, the best way to find anything out is to research it. And that is what I did. On my previous searches, I came up with but one thing about Dominic; He was indeed a crack whore. Damn, you can Google anything these days. After my final attempt to understanding Dominic, I realized that my search wasn't anything near accurate. After studying a picture I was taken back.
"Dominic Sterling is a Hooker Space Monkey?" I couldn't help say this aloud, in the comfort of my own home. Google, infact, had misled me. As I rolled my eyes and closed my window that contained the information Google had given me, I decided to get some help. A job this big needed some sort of a person, like Dominic, in order for it to be...well, right. Unlike Google, I trusted the person I was thinking of. With quick and nimble fingers, I got back on the web and wrote an e-mail to Dr. Chippie. His website, by far, was the WORST I had ever laid my eyes on. It was...Well, it wasn't a web site; this is what made it so horrible. I had no clue as to where his whereabouts may be. Still, I typed, desperate for help. Finally, my e-mail Read:
'Dear Dr. Chippie,
Hello. This e-mail is of sheer importance. I am Tiffany Brooklyn, an American woman living in America. Where is America, you ask? Please Dr. Chippie, I must ask that you don't ask stupid questions such as the previous typed. I am writing to you concerning a man [or woman?] named Dominic Sterling. Now Dr. Chippie, don't ask me another stupid question such as 'Who the hell is Dominic Sterling?' There is no reason for it! Damnit I'm the person that needs to know, NOT you! Now Dr. Chippie, a friend on Myspace told me of you. The wonderous things you have done, which I need you to do for me. In turn, I will give you my myspace and you can love me there. Which reminds me Dr. Chippie, I must end this e-mail now so I can go check my Myspace. Until your next e-mail to me,
Tiffany Brooklyn.'
Ha, I lied. No friend on Myspace told me of him. I was very happy with that E-mail;. It was so...Cool. I clicked send, and onto Myspace I went! At the login page, I notice my e-mail has already been placed in the box. So I nod and type my password in, and VIOLIA! I'm on Myspace! As I study my page, I notice one thing: Profile Views: 1. Wait. What? One profile view? I'm popularrr! Now if I can get 2, I will really be hip! I scroll down and notice a NEW FRIEND REQUEST! After clicking it and finding out that Dr. Chippie lived in Los Angeles, I accepted his friend proposal. His ONLINE NOW! Icon was blinking. It was annoying. I went to his page (which probably had fewer profile views than mine) and clicked MESSAGE. In the subject line, I type : WTF?! and this is how my message was composed.
'So Dr. Chippie, we meet again. I am stunned. You found my Myspace and I gave you no information. Dr. Chippie, you are a stalker.'
I sent this message and returned to my page. I had a NEW MESSAGE. I sigh, and look at my profile views. It was at 2! I had reached my limit. Who was a better Myspacer than I? I click on the little link and it takes me to my inbox. It was, you guessed it, Dr. Chippie. His subject line read 'Agreeing to help'. So I was just like
.
'Dear Tiffany,
'Ello, 'tis Dr. Chippie. I have decided to help you. Ciao.'
That was boring. I click on delete and I return to my inbox. Another message is there. He's a powertyper!
RE: WTF?!
Yeah I am a stalker. Anyways, I found some info on Dominic. Here is his Myspace Link. myspace.com/sterlin'boyo.'
I clicked on the link. His picture was startling, it was the same one I had found only moments earlier.
"DOMINIC STERLING IS A HOOKER SPACE MONKEY!
" This time I knew I HAD to be right. I mean the information was all right there. Even Dr. Chippe said he was a Hooker Space Monkey. I stay on his page for a few more seconds when I hear something produce from my speaker. I look at the little music box under his Myspace link and giggle. 'Everyone has more sex than me' by Unknown was playing. I click on home and another message !
RE: RE: WTF?!
'Tiffany Brooklyn eh? I just realized you're that one friggin' stupid ass wrestler chick. I saw your Debut in IWE. You suck. Dom has this match won, even if he is just a monkey.'
I gape, and flip my moniter off. If only he could see this. I whip out my cell phone and take a picture. Hell yeah, I'm smart. I send it to my e-mail. This takes a few seconds, only 'cause my phone sucks. When it arrives, I save it and upload it to Myspace. Where it says ADD CAPTION, I put: Mr. Chippie, FUCK YOU. Oh, alarming, I like the picture. I should take more. Then I go back to his stupid message and reply.
RE: WTF?!
'Dr. Chippie, you should go look at my pictures. One of them is for you =]. Also, you failed to mention that Dominic was in fact a Hooker Space Monkey. I may be some stupid ass chick on the tube, but I'm a kick ass stupid ass hick on the tube, mkay? Anyways Dr. Chippie, you suck. Dominic Sterling can't beat me, he seriously can't. He's a monkey. Oh, wait, let me correct myself; he is a HOOKER SPACE Monkey. And even if he wasn't a monkey in space that whores himself out, he is still a name I don't recognize, so he sucks like you do. You sir are a fucking fuck. And with that being typed, I also have to conclude this; your services aren't great. I still don't know who the fuck Dominic Sterling is.'
I send it and go back to my business. I mess around with my picture, trying to think of witty things to put in the ADD CAPTION part. That Fuck you thing wasn't doing it for me. After I decide that is the best thing I am going to come up with, I click on HOME. A NEW MESSAGE is waiting for me, golly!
RE: RE: RE: WTF?!
Tiffany Brooklyn, you are the worst wrestler I have ever heard of. I don't suck, you do.'
I reply, casually.
RE: RE: WTF?!
Dr. Chippie, you got beef? 'Cause if you do I'll kick you in the nuts. I may be the worst wrestler you have ever hear of, but well at least you HAVE heard of me. Unlike Dominic. So ha, blah and saaah!'
There. That should shut him up. I send the message and log out, thus concluding my search for Dominic Sterling. But I still had to ask myself; 'Was he indeed a Hooker Space Monkey; one that gets money for being a slutty monkey?'. Will I ever know who Dominic Sterling is?
"Dominic Sterling is a Hooker Space Monkey?" I couldn't help say this aloud, in the comfort of my own home. Google, infact, had misled me. As I rolled my eyes and closed my window that contained the information Google had given me, I decided to get some help. A job this big needed some sort of a person, like Dominic, in order for it to be...well, right. Unlike Google, I trusted the person I was thinking of. With quick and nimble fingers, I got back on the web and wrote an e-mail to Dr. Chippie. His website, by far, was the WORST I had ever laid my eyes on. It was...Well, it wasn't a web site; this is what made it so horrible. I had no clue as to where his whereabouts may be. Still, I typed, desperate for help. Finally, my e-mail Read:
'Dear Dr. Chippie,
Hello. This e-mail is of sheer importance. I am Tiffany Brooklyn, an American woman living in America. Where is America, you ask? Please Dr. Chippie, I must ask that you don't ask stupid questions such as the previous typed. I am writing to you concerning a man [or woman?] named Dominic Sterling. Now Dr. Chippie, don't ask me another stupid question such as 'Who the hell is Dominic Sterling?' There is no reason for it! Damnit I'm the person that needs to know, NOT you! Now Dr. Chippie, a friend on Myspace told me of you. The wonderous things you have done, which I need you to do for me. In turn, I will give you my myspace and you can love me there. Which reminds me Dr. Chippie, I must end this e-mail now so I can go check my Myspace. Until your next e-mail to me,
Tiffany Brooklyn.'
Ha, I lied. No friend on Myspace told me of him. I was very happy with that E-mail;. It was so...Cool. I clicked send, and onto Myspace I went! At the login page, I notice my e-mail has already been placed in the box. So I nod and type my password in, and VIOLIA! I'm on Myspace! As I study my page, I notice one thing: Profile Views: 1. Wait. What? One profile view? I'm popularrr! Now if I can get 2, I will really be hip! I scroll down and notice a NEW FRIEND REQUEST! After clicking it and finding out that Dr. Chippie lived in Los Angeles, I accepted his friend proposal. His ONLINE NOW! Icon was blinking. It was annoying. I went to his page (which probably had fewer profile views than mine) and clicked MESSAGE. In the subject line, I type : WTF?! and this is how my message was composed.
'So Dr. Chippie, we meet again. I am stunned. You found my Myspace and I gave you no information. Dr. Chippie, you are a stalker.'
I sent this message and returned to my page. I had a NEW MESSAGE. I sigh, and look at my profile views. It was at 2! I had reached my limit. Who was a better Myspacer than I? I click on the little link and it takes me to my inbox. It was, you guessed it, Dr. Chippie. His subject line read 'Agreeing to help'. So I was just like
.'Dear Tiffany,
'Ello, 'tis Dr. Chippie. I have decided to help you. Ciao.'
That was boring. I click on delete and I return to my inbox. Another message is there. He's a powertyper!
RE: WTF?!
Yeah I am a stalker. Anyways, I found some info on Dominic. Here is his Myspace Link. myspace.com/sterlin'boyo.'
I clicked on the link. His picture was startling, it was the same one I had found only moments earlier.
"DOMINIC STERLING IS A HOOKER SPACE MONKEY!
" This time I knew I HAD to be right. I mean the information was all right there. Even Dr. Chippe said he was a Hooker Space Monkey. I stay on his page for a few more seconds when I hear something produce from my speaker. I look at the little music box under his Myspace link and giggle. 'Everyone has more sex than me' by Unknown was playing. I click on home and another message !RE: RE: WTF?!
'Tiffany Brooklyn eh? I just realized you're that one friggin' stupid ass wrestler chick. I saw your Debut in IWE. You suck. Dom has this match won, even if he is just a monkey.'
I gape, and flip my moniter off. If only he could see this. I whip out my cell phone and take a picture. Hell yeah, I'm smart. I send it to my e-mail. This takes a few seconds, only 'cause my phone sucks. When it arrives, I save it and upload it to Myspace. Where it says ADD CAPTION, I put: Mr. Chippie, FUCK YOU. Oh, alarming, I like the picture. I should take more. Then I go back to his stupid message and reply.
RE: WTF?!
'Dr. Chippie, you should go look at my pictures. One of them is for you =]. Also, you failed to mention that Dominic was in fact a Hooker Space Monkey. I may be some stupid ass chick on the tube, but I'm a kick ass stupid ass hick on the tube, mkay? Anyways Dr. Chippie, you suck. Dominic Sterling can't beat me, he seriously can't. He's a monkey. Oh, wait, let me correct myself; he is a HOOKER SPACE Monkey. And even if he wasn't a monkey in space that whores himself out, he is still a name I don't recognize, so he sucks like you do. You sir are a fucking fuck. And with that being typed, I also have to conclude this; your services aren't great. I still don't know who the fuck Dominic Sterling is.'
I send it and go back to my business. I mess around with my picture, trying to think of witty things to put in the ADD CAPTION part. That Fuck you thing wasn't doing it for me. After I decide that is the best thing I am going to come up with, I click on HOME. A NEW MESSAGE is waiting for me, golly!
RE: RE: RE: WTF?!
Tiffany Brooklyn, you are the worst wrestler I have ever heard of. I don't suck, you do.'
I reply, casually.
RE: RE: WTF?!
Dr. Chippie, you got beef? 'Cause if you do I'll kick you in the nuts. I may be the worst wrestler you have ever hear of, but well at least you HAVE heard of me. Unlike Dominic. So ha, blah and saaah!'
There. That should shut him up. I send the message and log out, thus concluding my search for Dominic Sterling. But I still had to ask myself; 'Was he indeed a Hooker Space Monkey; one that gets money for being a slutty monkey?'. Will I ever know who Dominic Sterling is?