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Post by kenzie on Mar 23, 2009 2:57:52 GMT -5
Our scene opens with some rather gay indy music playing and a cardboard box truck driving down a hallway with crayon colored pictures of trees and buildings. The lights in the hall are dimmed and a fog machine is set up giving it a slight damp and dreary feel. Inside the cardboard truck is Kenzie pretending to drive along.
Kenzie (pretend voice over) - My name is Salmonella, I am just moving here to this dark and dreary town where it rains a lot and there isn’t much sunlight to live with my rent a cop daddy. I’m on my way to school where I hope to meet some real hotties that I can stutter around.
Kenzie “parks” the cardboard truck and walks into a locker room that is set up to look like a class room. Looking around there cardboard stand ups of various CWF talent scattered through out at different tables. Aaron Masters is sitting at one of the tables. Kenzie walks past a fan that is blowing on high. Her hair wipes around smacking her in the face. Trying to be all cool and stealth she moves it away only to see Aaron pulling out a clothespin and pinching his nose shut. Kenzie bites her bottom lip a bit and sits next to him. Aaron then looks as if he is about to gag and runs out of the room.
Kenzie (pretend voice over) - What was his problem? Ohhh….that’s right, I forgot to take my shower this week. My bad. He must just be sensitive to body odor. Oh wait no, it’s because I farted. Oh well next time I see him I will confront him.
Kenzie gets up and walks back out and heads towards her cardboard truck she starts to fumble around in her pockets when suddenly she looks up and falls down to the ground. A shopping cart with a crew member inside of it is racing towards her. Kenzie lets out a fake scream and a deer in the head lights look as the shopping cart smacks right into her knocking her over. Laying there for a few minutes. Aaron then walks over.
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Post by z0mbi3 on Mar 23, 2009 3:49:47 GMT -5
When Kenzie finally decided that her head trauma was not going to factor into her consciousness.. There Aaron was hovering over her giggling still as he was there with a BB gun and a friend.. That friend behind Dale Miller who stood there in a Yellow M&M ghillie suit.
Aaron/
"Alright, Dale.. Alright.. You're off the hook.. For now, but maybe I'll come back for you another time... RUN! GO NOW!"
Dale took off before Aaron could change his mind and decide he was going to put a BB in his ass.. Aaron was still kind of chucking about what had just happened as Kenzie sat up slowly rubbing her head. She looked at Aaron in astonishment and then from Aaron to his little Stitchy friend that had a feather around his head.
Kenzie/
"... DEADWARD! ... How... How did you get here so fast? One second you were over there... and now you are here... "
Aaron/
"Oh, I didn't.. I toppled over laughing so hard that I had to roll around a few times before I could walk over and see that big ass indent on your face so I could rinse and repeat... and now here I am."
Kenzie/
"Oh... Oh, I see... But that was all in a flash! It was so fast! How did you!?"
Aaron/
"SHHH! SALMONELLA... SHHH! THAT DOESN'T ATTER RIGHT NOW! WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO A DOCTER."
Aaron bent over real quick and picked her up and literally threw her in the shopping cart she had just got hit by and ran around to grab ahold of the handle bar.
Aaron/
"HOLD ON MY WAFFLEFACE!!!"
Aaron sped down the hall toward god knows where. The scene quickly cut and reopened as they were sitting inside the EMT room. Aaron was pestering a doctor as Kenzie was sitting down on a stool.
Aaron/
"WELL CHECK HER HEAD ANYWAY! YOU NEVER KNOW... ANYTHING COULD BE WRONG WITH IT..."
Aaron couldn't say a thing more before the EMT slapped his stethoscope across Aaron's forehead. He listened intensively to what could possibly be anything. Aaron's face instantly scrunched up in a little toddler like pissy face if you'd call it that.
Aaron/
"No! No! Not me! HER!"
Aaron pointed down at Kenzie before he crossed his arms across his chest again. The Mr. EMT Man just shook his head and removed it from his head before he spoke to Aaron again.
Mr. EMT/
"Well you never know.. I have a feeling the girbil in your brain decided it got tired... But I do hear something working in there.. So I think you are okay for now... Now Ms.. How are you feeling right now?"
Aaron/
"Mr. EMT! She just got hit with a shopping cart!? How do you think she feels!? ........... If anything ever happened to my Salmonella... Oh, I couldn't bear such a thing..."
The EMT paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side as he looked at Aaron with a raised brow.
EMT/
"... You have Salmonella?"
Aaron/
"Well! Yes! Yes, I do! She is like like my heroin!"
Mr. EMT got a disgusted look just then.
Mr EMT/
"WELL THAT EXPLAINS THAT SMELL! GET HIM OUT OF HERE QUICK!"
And before Aaron knew it he was restrained and thrown down on a stretcher. In the process of being strapped down he was calling out to his love and reaching out to her as she.. Sort of did the same thing.. Except a lot more relaxed.. There was no stretching at all.. "OH SALMONELLA.. DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY!" "NO! NO DEADWARD! NO!" Aaron was carted away in all of maybe 10 seconds and Salmonella had already seemed like she was over it.
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Post by kenzie on Mar 23, 2009 18:05:58 GMT -5
Kenzie jumps off the EMT table and heads out of the room after Aaron. She trips the guy who is carting off Aaron. Looking down at him she gives him a look. Aaron wiggles out of the restraints and Kenzie gets a shocked look on her face. Aaron looks at her with a confused look.
Deadward - What is it?
Salmonella - I......I....knnnnow what yyyyyyou are.
Deadward - Say it.
Salmonella - I....I cccccan't.
Deadward - Say it Salmonella.
Salmonella - Moron.
Deadward - Are you afraid?
Salmonella - Somewhat....I mean, I'd rather your stupidity not rub off on me, I'd kind of like to keep my sanity for as long as possible....But I just can't help it Deadward, I dream about you everynight.
Deadward - You know I sneak into your room like a creepy stalker and watch you sleep, I pour shaving cream into your hand and tickle your nose with a feather....sometimes I even put your fingers in a bowl of water.
Salmonella - THAT'S WHY I WET THE BED! Man, I just thought MaKenna was always right, that I was just immature and still had the mentality of a toddler. But now there is a reason, you are the one....I feel so much better now.
Deadward - Oh no, stand behind me, we don't want him to smell you....you do kind of reak.
Kenzie gets behind Aaron and looks over his shoulder and sees Evan Starr walking down the hallway.....
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Post by z0mbi3 on Mar 23, 2009 19:12:48 GMT -5
With that being said.. Aaron drove his elbow straight back and nailed the camera straight in it's lense busting it.. Luckily the audio still decided that it was going to work.
Camera Man/
"Oh you asshat! You just broke the lense... I think we still have audio though."
All you could hear in the background was Evan Star being dragged off and choked and then footsteps running back.
Salmonella/
"Oh, Deadward! You are amazing! That was sooooooooo brave!"
The camera man is cursing in the background still. The audio cuts out and the scene opens up with what is probably a new camera. Aaron was holding a little bucket in his left hand now.
Salmonella/
"Oh, Deadward!"
Aaron turned to the camera man and shook his head as he looked back to Kenzie with an empathetic expression.
Deadward/
"Salmonella... I only meant to ever hurt you..."
Salmonella/
"Deadward, I know... I know... You are a fuck up.. But how you I love you."
Deadward/
"You are my life now.. I would never let anything happen to you!"
Her attention suddenly shifted over to Stitches.. Who has been quiet as he generally is until he decides he wants to pipe up.. She point to him in curiosity.
Salmonella/
"You.. never did introduce us..."
Deadward/
"Oh!... That guy.... He's just a.."
Stitches/
"WoLfEnITCHES... iS The naAaaaaAAemee.."
As he says this his little puppety hands are scratching the sides of his very brown and fury exterior.
Salmonella/
"Oh... Oh I s---"
WolfenITCHES/
"wE uSeD tO mAkE MeAt PiEs WhEn wE WeRe LiTtle, YoU AnD I... HEHEhEhEhEhEhEH."
Salmonella/
"Oh... Oh, that is smooth..."
WolfenITCHES/
"Oh, oh.. and I'm decendant from Wolves."
Salmonela/
"You mean like... REAL Wolves?"
Aaron then whipped out a little wolf stuffy out from behind his back with a big old stupid grin on his face as he giggled.
Deadward/
"No, no... He just wishes.. He couldn't get any tail unless he raped a sheep."
Salmonella/
"Eww.. Cross breeding is disgusting!"
WolfenITCHES/
"ItS CAuSe I doN'T SPaRklE LikE A FAirY... isNt it!?"
Salmonella/
"I'm.. I'm sorry, Iches.. But it would just never work out..."
WolfenITCHES/
"OH YoU... YOu ArE a SeXy LitTle FuzZy ArEnt yoU!?"
Salmonella/
"Uh.... excuse me."
WolfenITCHES/
"OH, HoW I COuLd JusT GraB tHOse CuRles.. and OMMPH!"
Kenzies jaw dropped as Stitches seemed to drag Aaron off so fast that his head whiiplashed back and forward real fast. Off down the hall they went.. By the time Kenzie turned around.. There Aaron was.. Pounced ontop of a very pissed off and wooly Evan Star that had just got tarred and whooled... They disappeared behind the corner. Evan made whatever type of screetchy Evan screetch you figured that man could make as he got dragged off.
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