Post by demetrireaper on Jul 8, 2009 5:00:42 GMT -5
I've been waiting weeks to post this and finally have the time to sit down and write it and enjoy the thoroughness of everything falling apart.
It's a shame really that a once great fed was left to die after the departure of it's ONLY LEGENDS. People who put in hours upon hours into this fed. People who risked relationships, who risked their jobs, who could've been doing something more with their free time but decided to pack it into this efed because so many other people enjoyed it. People who thought that they had family here, but at the blink of an eye those that family turned on them like a pack of wild starving dogs. People like Levi Russow, who's only crime was having a bit of ego, who pushed himself to do great rps and help this bloom but was left to rot and was stripped of his position so many times simply because someone thought it was a "grand idea to shake shit up". People like Eric Keye, who was exploited for the fact that he suffers from depression, was the unfortunate guy to fall in love with someone who's apparently taken by a man who will always use her as his reserve; it's a crime that he had to have his heart broken into so many pieces over and over again because people claim it was for his own good, but the fact is that people just thought it would be a riot to hurt him. People like Vessa Campbell, who because of relationships she had with people in the fed was always referred to as a slut or whore, who when problems were in her life she was apparently a drama queen. Or Jennah Hembrook who constantly was looked at as a trouble maker and a shit disturber. It's a real shame that all those talented people lost their passion here because of a handful of assholes and bitches who decide that because their lives are so miserable that they need to start crap. And that list doesn't include one person, and that's myself. I helped hold this fed up for TOO LONG, so many hours, so many days, so many problems! I did have help, but it was never to the amount i needed. I was brought into it by volunteering, but it soon turned into a full time job because people apparently appreciated it. What a crock of shit that was. I start dating one person, try to bring myself back to where i needed to be and make a mistake or two, take some time off. Suddenly I'm useless, suddenly I'm the asshole who walked away, suddenly I'm the guy nobody could count on, suddenly everything I had done doesn't count for shit. People wonder why I kept being a complete dick to them, it was because I only give respect to those who deserve it and I was tired of wasting it on people who could NEVER deserve it. People like Luke, the owner of this fed, you created it, but you never wanted to keep managing it. Every few weeks you'd fuck off cause you lost your passion for it, then come back and expect a big glorious return yet you thought you were so much better than our buddy JP. You're much worse, at least JP admitted when he fucked up, at least he had the decency to appologize for fucking off or making mistakes, but not you Luke, you apparently can do no wrong...but is that why you almost lost the one person who means more to you then the entire world. Who was the one who helped you realize it Luke? You say you never held that against me, but fact is you did, it was the first tear into our friendship. The second came from my relationship with Angel, how you didn't approve but would try to accept it. So many people said that, but i believed you...problem is I was a fool for believing it. When i took that time off you were one of the many who just pushed me aside cause i was no use to you. What completely ruined our friendship, was that you held it all agianst me and when i came back expecting to actually have some respectful matches, put over some new guys and maybe get myself back into the program....you put me in a dipshit match, damaged my character and reputation, and then tried to cover it up. Your cover up was bullshit and so many people saw it, they all came to me and said so. As Daniel put it "How can you recover from that?". I was in the midst of recovering it when I got a message from the next bitch on my list...Kenzie! It's a shame she couldn't keep her nose in her own shit. At one point we were very close Kenzie, all because of the fact that we related to each other in our misery, that's what brought us together. But when I started to cheer up, when I started dating again you started acting like a jealous ex-girlfriend. You once said to me "I'm surprised you never fell for me", and it wasn't until just before i left that I realized why you said that. As much as you deny it, as much as you go against it, and as much as I don't want to have to face it myself. You were in love with me and you just did not want to say it. Why? Because of Ryan. It's a real shame, cause that's exactly what always wrote you off my list. Nobody compared to Ryan and because of him, guys like Eric and Levi were torn to shreds. The fact that you helped is just appalling! And when you bitched me out that day, I finally realized that you and I were never gonna be back to how close we were, you and I could never even be friends no matter how hard I tried, cause you honestly only care about making everyone as miserable as you are. You were one of the biggest advocates to Angel's reputation of being a drama queen, but the fact is you have always been the worse of them all. As for the rest of you...you all know who you are, and you contributed in little ways.
To the newer guys, I'm sorry you had to lose what could've been a great place, but after seeing what happens to others who worked hard to help this place I do hope your passion continues elsewhere, cause you would've gotten screwed over huge here.
To Evan Starr, you my friend are going to be an incredible legend in the feds. I'm sorry we never truly got to work together, hopefully some other place, some other time when everything is set. You were a big supporter of my return and I'm glad you stood along side me.
To Eric, I hope you continue to prosper, I'm glad you recovered after everything and hope that you pick your friends wisely. You know you can always reach me bro.
To Devo, you and I never had any beef, and I don't expect any. None of this is directed at you and you know that. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But it did have to be said and what better time then when the fed is for sure dead.
I doubt i forgot anyone, and I honestly don't expect any replies, if they start to build up, well that's fine I won't read them anyways.
The fact that this came out so much after the fed went to shit is because i wanted to make sure it stayed down, before i drove my nail into it. One thing that efeds and true wrestling have in common is that it's a matter of respect. The feds that disrespect may prosper for a bit, but they all come crumbling down at the end of the day. Those who actually give respect and appreciate the work come out on top.
This is the last of anyone will ever hear of Benji in CWF. I'm still doing some rping here and there, but after the experiences here, I just can't get into it full time anymore. I'd hate for all my hard work to come crumbling down on me again.
I want you all to remember that so many times that I wanted to leave I was told "you can't, CWF won't survive without you". Well here we are....without me CWF died, not once but twice. The old CWF came to an end long ago, most of the legends having walked away from the bullshit. Then it died a second death when the last of the legends left and CWF was forced to survive on people who were afraid of putting the actual work into it and were afraid to let anyone else help out till things got desperate. Long ago when i first started this there were many people who were known as fed killers. You didn't let them slip away from your fed or you'd lose it all. All of the people who were disrespected here...they indirectly became fed killers. As for me, I was made into one when I decided it wasn't worth the time anymore.
I'm going to leave you with one final thought.
Don't ever let yourself be fooled. When people start to turn on you, walk away, if you try to make it work...you'll find yourself in deeper shit then you can imagine.
Goodbye CWF,
Benji (Jake "The Blast" Benson, Eryk Ince)
It's a shame really that a once great fed was left to die after the departure of it's ONLY LEGENDS. People who put in hours upon hours into this fed. People who risked relationships, who risked their jobs, who could've been doing something more with their free time but decided to pack it into this efed because so many other people enjoyed it. People who thought that they had family here, but at the blink of an eye those that family turned on them like a pack of wild starving dogs. People like Levi Russow, who's only crime was having a bit of ego, who pushed himself to do great rps and help this bloom but was left to rot and was stripped of his position so many times simply because someone thought it was a "grand idea to shake shit up". People like Eric Keye, who was exploited for the fact that he suffers from depression, was the unfortunate guy to fall in love with someone who's apparently taken by a man who will always use her as his reserve; it's a crime that he had to have his heart broken into so many pieces over and over again because people claim it was for his own good, but the fact is that people just thought it would be a riot to hurt him. People like Vessa Campbell, who because of relationships she had with people in the fed was always referred to as a slut or whore, who when problems were in her life she was apparently a drama queen. Or Jennah Hembrook who constantly was looked at as a trouble maker and a shit disturber. It's a real shame that all those talented people lost their passion here because of a handful of assholes and bitches who decide that because their lives are so miserable that they need to start crap. And that list doesn't include one person, and that's myself. I helped hold this fed up for TOO LONG, so many hours, so many days, so many problems! I did have help, but it was never to the amount i needed. I was brought into it by volunteering, but it soon turned into a full time job because people apparently appreciated it. What a crock of shit that was. I start dating one person, try to bring myself back to where i needed to be and make a mistake or two, take some time off. Suddenly I'm useless, suddenly I'm the asshole who walked away, suddenly I'm the guy nobody could count on, suddenly everything I had done doesn't count for shit. People wonder why I kept being a complete dick to them, it was because I only give respect to those who deserve it and I was tired of wasting it on people who could NEVER deserve it. People like Luke, the owner of this fed, you created it, but you never wanted to keep managing it. Every few weeks you'd fuck off cause you lost your passion for it, then come back and expect a big glorious return yet you thought you were so much better than our buddy JP. You're much worse, at least JP admitted when he fucked up, at least he had the decency to appologize for fucking off or making mistakes, but not you Luke, you apparently can do no wrong...but is that why you almost lost the one person who means more to you then the entire world. Who was the one who helped you realize it Luke? You say you never held that against me, but fact is you did, it was the first tear into our friendship. The second came from my relationship with Angel, how you didn't approve but would try to accept it. So many people said that, but i believed you...problem is I was a fool for believing it. When i took that time off you were one of the many who just pushed me aside cause i was no use to you. What completely ruined our friendship, was that you held it all agianst me and when i came back expecting to actually have some respectful matches, put over some new guys and maybe get myself back into the program....you put me in a dipshit match, damaged my character and reputation, and then tried to cover it up. Your cover up was bullshit and so many people saw it, they all came to me and said so. As Daniel put it "How can you recover from that?". I was in the midst of recovering it when I got a message from the next bitch on my list...Kenzie! It's a shame she couldn't keep her nose in her own shit. At one point we were very close Kenzie, all because of the fact that we related to each other in our misery, that's what brought us together. But when I started to cheer up, when I started dating again you started acting like a jealous ex-girlfriend. You once said to me "I'm surprised you never fell for me", and it wasn't until just before i left that I realized why you said that. As much as you deny it, as much as you go against it, and as much as I don't want to have to face it myself. You were in love with me and you just did not want to say it. Why? Because of Ryan. It's a real shame, cause that's exactly what always wrote you off my list. Nobody compared to Ryan and because of him, guys like Eric and Levi were torn to shreds. The fact that you helped is just appalling! And when you bitched me out that day, I finally realized that you and I were never gonna be back to how close we were, you and I could never even be friends no matter how hard I tried, cause you honestly only care about making everyone as miserable as you are. You were one of the biggest advocates to Angel's reputation of being a drama queen, but the fact is you have always been the worse of them all. As for the rest of you...you all know who you are, and you contributed in little ways.
To the newer guys, I'm sorry you had to lose what could've been a great place, but after seeing what happens to others who worked hard to help this place I do hope your passion continues elsewhere, cause you would've gotten screwed over huge here.
To Evan Starr, you my friend are going to be an incredible legend in the feds. I'm sorry we never truly got to work together, hopefully some other place, some other time when everything is set. You were a big supporter of my return and I'm glad you stood along side me.
To Eric, I hope you continue to prosper, I'm glad you recovered after everything and hope that you pick your friends wisely. You know you can always reach me bro.
To Devo, you and I never had any beef, and I don't expect any. None of this is directed at you and you know that. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But it did have to be said and what better time then when the fed is for sure dead.
I doubt i forgot anyone, and I honestly don't expect any replies, if they start to build up, well that's fine I won't read them anyways.
The fact that this came out so much after the fed went to shit is because i wanted to make sure it stayed down, before i drove my nail into it. One thing that efeds and true wrestling have in common is that it's a matter of respect. The feds that disrespect may prosper for a bit, but they all come crumbling down at the end of the day. Those who actually give respect and appreciate the work come out on top.
This is the last of anyone will ever hear of Benji in CWF. I'm still doing some rping here and there, but after the experiences here, I just can't get into it full time anymore. I'd hate for all my hard work to come crumbling down on me again.
I want you all to remember that so many times that I wanted to leave I was told "you can't, CWF won't survive without you". Well here we are....without me CWF died, not once but twice. The old CWF came to an end long ago, most of the legends having walked away from the bullshit. Then it died a second death when the last of the legends left and CWF was forced to survive on people who were afraid of putting the actual work into it and were afraid to let anyone else help out till things got desperate. Long ago when i first started this there were many people who were known as fed killers. You didn't let them slip away from your fed or you'd lose it all. All of the people who were disrespected here...they indirectly became fed killers. As for me, I was made into one when I decided it wasn't worth the time anymore.
I'm going to leave you with one final thought.
Don't ever let yourself be fooled. When people start to turn on you, walk away, if you try to make it work...you'll find yourself in deeper shit then you can imagine.
Goodbye CWF,
Benji (Jake "The Blast" Benson, Eryk Ince)